Of Mysteriously Disappearing Fabric Softener Sheets

By DAVID FAUCHEUX

Recently, I was drying clothes.  Would that I had a valet.  I carefully made sure that I had all my socks and even my hand towels and dish rags all accounted for!  The hand towels and dish rags tend to hide, and the socks want to file for divorce whilst vacationing in the communal laundry room.  I have been known to use a small mesh zipper bag for white clothes, rings from bottles to hold socks in wedded bliss, or even safety pins to make sure no separations, legal or otherwise, will occur.  But this last time I laundered, I noticed upon taking my clothes from the dryer that my fabric sheet was gone.  I looked everywhere, did everything short of calling 911 and the National Guard, asked sighted neighbors, but, alas, that sheet had been kidnapped sans ransom note.  I seem to recall that popular humorist, Irma Bombeck, once did a shtick on disappearing clothes in the dryer.  Perchance, this might require academic study by a professional garbalogist.  Perhaps, the author of the following can help us out? 

Gone Tomorrow: The Hidden Life of Garbage

Rogers, Heather. Read by Kerry Dukin. Reading time 8 hours 15 minutes.

IMAGINE That!